Musings on Jace

Ecclesiates 3:11a He has made everything beautiful in its time.

We are all on a journey.

Knowing Christ, living each day in the attempt to glorify God, or even to understand what and how to glorify our Lord does not make that journey less treacherous, but with the bitterness of brokenness this world offers, that very real relationship with Christ offers the sweetness of honey to strengthen the resolve to move onward. It is easier to live on this earth with eyes not directed forward or backward or even to the side, but upward. We truly are sojourners, dear ones.

Grief is just a piece of our journey.

It doesn’t take the death of a loved one to plunge us into this particular path. I’ve talked with several people recently on their own grief journeys involving health issues, relationship troubles, even personal insecurity.

Brokenness: The world offers only brokenness for our journey.

God offers goodness, real Goodness, not Plato’s version mired in human frailty and flawed human understanding. But then, that’s the problem. Our humanness demands a definition for goodness, demands to know why bad things happen, demands to know why we, who know God, must suffer and grieve. Our inherent brokenness, sin, wants us to cling to this earth, fearing what we can’t see right now, heaven.

Faith: We trust that God’s promises pave the road of our journey.

Then comes faith. We can know, we can trust in only one unshakeable reality when all the earth has to offer is broken relationships, bodies, or communities; my friends, we don’t belong here. We are created by our savior for His glory, and we will know His glory fully only when we are truly home, home with our Creator Father in heaven.

I won’t recount right now the passages of scripture that promise much more than this broken life or the passages that remind me that my frailty drowning in tears is a good and right response to this world’s hardness and suffering. But, dear ones, if grief on any account is weighing you down, if what the world terms depression is dogging your days, if lethargy seems to overwhelm you, don’t just try to push yourself to fill your days with activity or bask in self-pity, stop a moment, ponder His Words. If you can’t do anything else, pick up His Words and let them be a balm.

I’ve had trouble just going to the Bible and finding solace for my extreme tiredness and aimlessness which has set in since little Jace’s death, but in His good providence, several sources have ministered to me and pointed me in some concrete direction in His word. Sharon Better’s Treasures in Darkness, given to me before Jace was even born, and a devotional Lauren has used called Streams in the Desert by L. B. Cowman have been very helpful in directing me to specific scripture. I’m sure many of you know of other meaningful resources, but these two have been soothing for me at this time. I could pull out many gems from each one, but I’ll refrain, for now.

Journey: Brokenness can be a conduit of God’s love.

I’ve learned something else, too. We can’t really understand in a total way what another might be going through. We may have some similar experiences that give us needed insights, but each of us has to walk our paths before the Lord. He knows our pains. Yet, the little things help: stopping a moment to make a meal and staying to chat a moment when delivering it, crying a bit when talking with someone who’s shedding her own tears over her grief journey, or having the sensitivity to talk about what is happening with a friend or just listening as she reminisces. I haven’t necessarily wanted to go visit a friend but having someone come to me for even 5 minutes has allowed me to fellowship in a quiet way. Heartwarming. I’m learning to gladly let others do things for me, as is Lauren. I’ve also greatly appreciated when others share with me their journeys. I want to pray for others, hear another’s needs, cry or rejoice with them, too. Staying in my little box is too claustrophobic!

Jace’s earthly journey has ended, but his heavenly one has just begun: Our little man is fully healed in heaven.

Jace’s memorial celebration, June 17^th, and the reception at my in-laws home in Richmond was wonderful, full of tears and memories, family and friends. I find it utterly amazing that one little life touched so many these last 6 months. For only a little less than three months, Jace breathed the same air we breathe, yet I hope my own life has the long-lasting effects his short stint on earth has had.

I’m posting the ‘Jace says, “Good-bye.”’ video that Lauren recorded of Jace 10 days before he died. It is precious and shows his little personality and the love his mommy and daddy have for him. This video closed his celebration. Lauren and Danny both paid tribute to their little man at the service, Lauren in song singing ‘Praise Him in this storm’ and Danny delivering a precious serious of memories about Jace. The words to the song and Danny’s tribute are on Lauren’s blog: http://steinhauslm.blogspot.com/.

Amazingly, the process none of us can avoid, death, is perspective-giving.

Some days are very difficult, and we really miss Jace, especially Lauren and Dan, but others bring sweet times of remembrance and the knowledge that God gives tremendous grace and strength in the midst of tears. How difficult for Lauren and Danny to go from three back to two as if Jace had not occurred, but he did live, and he lived with significance. He showed how important each life can be. Life should not be wasted whether it is the actual journey we travel or the actual biological process that so many carelessly toss away before birth. And Jace showed clearly that to ‘live is Christ but to die is gain’.

We’ve been recounting the ‘goodnesses’ that God has been giving through Jace’s death.

God in His Good Plan chose June 14^th for two other significant events beyond our little man’s entering glory, well, two that we know of; you may share others with me! Jace died around 1:45 AM Saturday morning, June 14^th. Later that morning, Johanna Leonard was born and a couple became three. Even later that day, two single lives were joined into a couple before the Lord when Lauren’s good friend, Meredith Elliott, married. June 14 was a good day.

Death is perspective-giving to life: my dad wrote a moving tribute in the form of a poem for little Jace; Family has become even more important to all of us; we take each day as it comes trying to relish the life God grants; a relationship was reconciled at Jace’s celebration; at the reception, Sean found a job by talking to a friend he had not seen in a while; we all have a greater depth of emotion for ministering to others; lives have been redirected as career changes are now being pondered; Heaven is closer and sweeter. Perspective.

Finally, Dear Ones, please accept our humbled and awed thank yous for the tremendous contribution of food to the reception and to our family since Jace’s death. I had to do nothing for this reception due to the kind organizing of close friends and in-laws, who insisted I stay out of this task. I love you guys!

Thank you for the tears shed for us, the prayers covering us, the patience to listen to teary musings about Jace and life and death. Thank you for the monetary contributions to Lauren and Dan that are helping them cope with the mounting medical bills. And, thank you for the lovely floral arrangements and plants that so many provided for Jace’s memorial celebration.

The Point of Grace song, ‘Heal the Wound but Leave the Scar’ has particular meaning to me. We will bear the joyous scar of Jace’s presence these short months, but God is healing the wounded hearts, and in fear and trembling, we know He’ll use us for his glory. Scary, but comforting, too.