April 4, 2008, 9:37 AM

As Jace continues to labor for breath and his heart slowly winds down, this wonderful hymn a friend sent seems incredibly apropos:

Breathe on Me, Breath of God,
Fill me with life anew,
That I may love what Thou dost love,
And do what Thou wouldst do.

Breathe on me, Breath of God,
Until my heart is pure,
Until with Thee I will one will,
To do and to endure.

Breathe on me, Breath of God,
Till I am wholly Thine,
Until this earthly part of me,
Glows with Thy fire divine.

Breathe on me, Breath of God,
So shall I never die,
But live with Thee the perfect life
Of Thine eternity.

Amen.

Edwin Hatch, 1886

I’m praying these words for those of us who will be left to grieve for little Jace not being with us on this earth, but also for Jace himself. He will have life anew with the Lord, and his little broken body will be made whole. As I watched and comforted him yesterday for the precious 30 minutes I had with him in the NICU, I kept seeing this incredible multi-faceted picture of Jesus comforting little Jace right now in his discomfort from tubes and improperly functioning body parts, and of Christ’s comfort to our precious daughter and son-in-law, who know that Jace will be made whole one day. The world looks at Jace as imperfectly made, but even in my sorrow of not having the privilege of watching him grow up, of my not even being able to hold him on this earth, I see him as completely whole and perfectly made by our Lord. I think we all must cling to this knowledge as we watch him struggle to live.

But, I must tell you that this little guy is living up to his name, Jace Garrett. Garrett in general has a warrior connotation, and he is proving to be a fighter. We thought the Lord would take him home late Monday afternoon/evening. We know his little heart is failing, and on Monday afternoon, his respiration became very shallow. The doctors were giving them no hope. Lauren held him literally all evening and night, and by morning, he was still with us; his stats looked relatively better than any he’d had on Monday. We continue to pray God’s will and His best for this precious little one. Letting him go is hard, but we have been gifted for so much longer than we expected with Jace’s life. I had the sweet privilege yesterday of catching two tiny smiles as Jace peacefully lay in REM sleep. Because he was doing a bit better, Lauren and Dan left momentarily to take showers and check out of the Ronald McDonald house, which they must do daily, reapplying each afternoon for a room for the evening; so far they’ve been blessed to have a room the last 6 nights. Grandpa Steinhaus and I sat by Jace’s beside enjoying his tiny cries, sweet dreams, and fluid movements. He studied each of our faces and KNEW we were NOT his parents, hence the cries, but he is easy to soothe, especially if you rub his feet and legs! Call it ‘grandma love’, but I truly know the Holy Spirit is bringing him comfort and surrounding his parents with strength supernatural.

Thank you for the prayers and emails, dear ones. Please forgive me if I don’t respond to each note. I’m trying to continue my teaching of my six homeschool classes, but when I must leave quickly or cancel, everyone has been so gracious to understand. Thank you for your continued prayers for all of us.

Please be praying that today the doctors will work with the pediatric hospice program to work out a plan to allow Dan and Lauren to bring little Jace home. They would rather he pass away at home than at the hospital, if it is the Lord’s will, but time is running out. Even after I left the hospital yesterday, he had two near ‘crashes’. Dan has not gone back to work making today the 10^th day (almost two weeks) away from work. Pray that he can work out some way to care for both his job and his wife and son, and that medical insurance would cover much of the expense. Of course, medical bills are mounting, and I know that is a concern for Dan, too. Both Lauren and Dan are nearing exhaustion; please pray for renewed strength and wisdom. And for us, as the grandparents, pray for our wisdom in knowing the best way to minister to them, and yet, not get in the way.

I’m so amazed and humbled at the gentleness and competency of both my daughter and son-in-law in handling Jace’s medical needs knowing that this time is their only time to be with him on this earth. Continue to pray for Lauren’s health. She is thin, still bleeding, and very tired, but Danny INSISTS on pushing her around in a wheel-chair when they leave the NICU, to much eye-rolling on Lauren’s part. I wish I had a picture of her pushing her own EMPTY wheel-chair into the NICU, because Danny happened not to be around at the moment. In the midst of all the heartache, it was really comical. She looked like a kid who had just eaten the best piece of chocolate, her smile was so cheeky.

Many, many of you have asked for their new address and best how to help. Praying has been the most incredible help. Sometime later, testimonies sent to me of how Jace’s Journey (my sister-in-law’s suggested ‘book’ title!!??) has impacted lives would be welcomed, so that some day (when they are able) Lauren and Dan can see the sweetness of Jace’s life in a concrete way. I may just ‘save’ them on my computer at this stage.

I know this journey will not just end with Jace’s passing, so continue to pray for healing and an even stronger marriage for Lauren and Dan. We are already praying that the Lord blesses them with more children, although none will take Jace’s place, of course.

Again, dear ones, thank you for ‘standing in the gap’ with us.

Lauren and Dan’s address: 15015 W. Airport #323, Sugar Land, TX 77478

Blessings,
Kathy for the Harts and Steinhauses